Bill and I waited several days after Star’s diagnosis to even get to the chemo discussion. It was simply too painful to think about let alone discuss. I had so many reservations.

– At 12, Star only has a few more years to live anyway. The chemo typically extends a dog’s life a year to 18 months in the case of lymphoma. But I’ve read of dogs living 3, even 5 years more after chemo.

– She already has degenerative disk disease, which flares up every 6 months or so. A short-term dose of Rimadyl or Zubrin treats it well, and she’s back to normal again. I do worry about the condition worsening until she has to be carried around in a sling.

– Are we considering chemo for her welfare or for our own? Are we doing it for her or us? I can’t help but think practically on this one, but I’m not really sure.

– Emotionally, the chemo seems to be the equivalent of slapping on a bandaid and slowly ripping it off. Will Bill and I be able in perpetual mourning during this last year, or will we be able to enjoy Star while it lasts? Why delay the inevitable?

– Am I completely detached from my emotions and would rather take the easy way out — euthanasia?

So after a painfully honest discussion of these issues and more, Bill and I decided to go through with the chemo. Overall, Star’s been in good health, except for the occasional back problem. During treatment, if her health deteriorates for whatever reason, we’d have no choice but to have her put to sleep. I dread that day. Here’s to hoping it never comes.

Next Tuesday…day one of chemo.